


Breakdown

by ha_na_mi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Meditation, Panic Attacks, basically tadashi freaks out and tsukki brings him to asahi to calm him down, progressive muscle relaxation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-09-06 11:32:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8748985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ha_na_mi/pseuds/ha_na_mi





	

Yamaguchi was stressed and feeling tense since they lost their match against Seijou. Beating himself up and at the same time wanting to get better so bad, wanting to overcome that feeling of failure. A few days after training like a madman his whole body was feeling so tight, he even felt some chest pain when he breathed.

Also, slacking off in school was also really troubling for him. Usually it’s easy for him to get good grades, in a few subjects he’s even better than Tsukishima! But not the past few weeks. These have been horrible. He notices with even more pain from day to day that his teammates are getting better, but he doesn’t feel like making any progress. He sees Tsukishima getting straight A’s and he find himself hiding his tests from his best friend.   
Oh, and he also finds himself wanting a more affectionate relationship with his best friend. The usual teenager stuff. 

This results in making Yamaguchi feel and seem really unstable to others. Always fidgeting, making stiff movements and stuttering most of the time. It still takes his teammates quite a time to notice this. It all starts with a few comments here and there when Yamaguchi develops acne in his whole face, back and chest, probably caused by all the stress and the related eating of unhealthy foods nearly every day. He even gained a bit of weight, which also made him feel really uncomfortable and unattractive.   
Tsukishima wasn’t the type that would directly talk to him about it, he just took part in commenting his appearance with the other team members. They aren’t all that mean, most of the time worried or curious about what was going on with Yamaguchi, who of course wouldn’t tell anyone about his concerns.   
It all escalated the day Yamaguchi had a complete mental breakdown which was so emotional and ugly that Tsukishima no longer couldn’t keep his worries to himself. It was lunch break and they just got the results of their midterm-tests and Yamaguchi didn’t come over to Tsukishimas desk, so the tall guy decided to take the initiative and sit next to him. 

“So, how did your tests go?”, was the only thing he said to him, followed by a long silence. Yamaguchi stared at Tsukishima with a shocked expression, eyes widened and mouth open. It took him too long to realize that he probably shoulnd’t have asked, but by that time Yamaguchi already had tears forming in his eyes. He started crying silently, without any movement, without taking his stare away from his best friends face.   
Tsukishima fumbled inside the pockets of his trousers, searching for a tissue, while Yamaguchi started sobbing and sobbing. Their classmates started staring and asking, what was going on. Yamaguchi didn’t seem to get out of it. His thoughts went crazy, telling him mean things, crushing his self confidence. He was shaking, sobbing and gasping for air, still not saying anything, ashamed of himself for crying in the middle of their classroom, unable to move by himself.  
His best friend just gives him one tissue after the other, shooting him worried looks, but not being quite sure what he could tell him to calm him down. Even classmates who didn’t know Yamaguchi that well would come to them and tell Tsukishima to take him to the nurse. 

“Go bring him to the nurse.”  
“Should I get a teacher?”  
“Is he even still present? Like, mentally?”, one girl asks, Yamaguchi still hasn’t changed the direction of his stare, still couldn’t get out of his overwhelmed crying. Tsukishima fumbles around nervously, patting the shoulder of his friend gently.   
“Ya… maguchi?”, he asks, leaving his hand on the top of his shoulder. “Do you, like… need… fresh air or something? Should I take you outside or…?”  
No reaction. Of course not. Tsukishima has a feeling that he is so caught up in his thoughts, he probably wouldn’t even realize if he got punched in the face. He stood up and slid his hands under the arms of his best friend, who is slowly following him, legs shaking. Everything seems dizzy to Yamaguchi and he just hopes to get out of here, but really doesn’t know how. If he were by himself he probably wouldn’t have found the exit of the classroom. His vision was blurry, his whole body felt cold and numb and the air didn’t quite want to get into his lungs. 

But with Tsukishimas hands on his back he was slowly led outside, hearing the dull murmurs of his classmates, but couldn’t really understand what they were saying.   
“Calm down, Yamaguchi.”, Tsukishima whispered, while knowing that this probably wouldn’t help Yamaguchi at all. It only helped himself to stay as calm as he could while he was leading him through the hallways. He still hasn’t figured if he should take him outside or to a teacher.   
Yamaguchi still cried so much and breathed so heavily, that tears were falling on the floor and the tall boy got more and more worried that his best friend would collapse under his own struggles.   
While he was still deciding on what could help Yamaguchi in this situation the most, he saw one of his teammates walking up the stairs they just passed.   
“Asahi!”, Tsukishima called the Ace of his Volleyball Team. Asahi quickly noticed that there was something going on, changed directions and walked to the two friends.   
“Are you alright? Yamaguchi? What has happened?”

Yamaguchi just tilted his head and stared at his feet, with a very strained expression, still not being able to calm himself down.   
“I… don’t really know. I think it’s… the stress or something.”, Tsukishima answered for his best friend, with a bit of shame in his voice, because he didn’t know what was bothering his best friend.   
“He just started crying?”, Asahi asked with a deeply worried look on his face.   
“Yeah, like…” Tsukishima looked at the clock in the hallway. “20 minutes ago.”, he finished his sentence, a bit shocked himself that Yamaguchi had such a big breakdown.   
Asahi raised his eyebrows and looked around.   
“Ok and you want to go to the nurse, or..?”  
“I don’t really know. That’s why I called out for you. I don’t think it would help him to talk to a teacher. He doesn’t talk at all.”  
“We could try to… relax a bit.”, Asahi stated and Tsukishima nearly laughed.   
“Yeah, that’s what I told him to do. Doesn’t work.”

Asahi looked at the younger boy with a scolding expression.   
“I meant we could try some techniques to wind down and release some of the tension. Let’s go and find a place where we are alone.”  
There was this rumor going around that Asahi would deal with drugs and Tsukishima didn’t really want this to be true. Nevertheless he followed him, this time grabbing Yamaguchi by his arm and dragging him. Yamaguchi still didn’t grasp what was going on, he even did not understand where he was, still panicked, still overwhelmed.   
They found an empty classroom and Asahi instructed them to sit down on the floor, as he closed the door.   
“So what techniques do you have in mind, Asahi?”, Tsukishima asked, while watching how Yamaguchi crouches together in the corner of the room.   
“Just sit down next to him.”

Tsukishima just did what he was told, kind of worried about what was going to happen, but also relieved that someone else is taking the lead. His heart aches every time he heard some of Yamaguchis small cries and he just hoped it would stop soon.   
“Yamaguchi.”, Asahi started while getting on the floor cross-legged in front of them. “Just listen to my voice, ok? Try to follow my voice and my breathing. You follow along, too, Tsukishima.”  
Tsukishima nodded and felt a shiver on his arms when he heard his calm and soothing voice. That someone like Asahi could radiate such calm vibes…  
“There is a lot going on right now…”  
Asahi took a deep breath and exhaled for a long time.   
“But we are going to find a way to sort things out.”  
He breathed again, even slower this time. Tsukishima side-eyed his best friend, who had stopped sobbing, but was still shaking and breathing unsteadily. It didn’t look like he was listening, but Tsukishima was sure that Asahis voice would reach him.  
“You are in a classroom. No one is here but Tsukishima and me, Asahi.”

Breathing.  
“It’s still lunch break and you have plenty of time to just relax and let your mind calm down.”  
Tsukishimas chest felt tight. This was a strange situation but possibly he would do anything to help his best friend right now. It hurt so much to not know what was going on. Especially when Yamaguchi usually was this very open person who would babble about the most random and trivial things hour after hour. And now he seems so… broken.  
“Can you feel your hands? The tips of your fingers? Are they shaking? Are they cold or warm? Can you move them? Try to make a fist. Hold it.”  
He inhales.   
“And release it.”  
Asahi exhales and Tsukishima grasps him looking at Yamaguchi with a proud expression on his face. He follows his glance and sees his best friend, still shaking, but with his legs spread in front of him, leaning against the wall, looking at Asahi wide-eyed and following his instructions. 

“Make a fist again… and open your hands. Can you feel your arms? Do the same. Tighten them… and release.”  
He really tried to follow along, but it was so much more interesting for Tsukishima to observe how Yamaguchi really got calmer, with only a few tears rolling down his cheeks now, his body getting calm, as well as his breathing.   
“Think about what is going to happen today. Take it one day at a time. You have a few more hours of school, sitting on your desk, listening to your teacher. After that you can go to training, or maybe even go home and take a long nap. I’m sure nobody will be mad. Try to tighten your feet, Yamaguchi.”  
Yamaguchi sobs a little when Asahi talked about no one being mad at him and it breaks Tsukishimas heart even further.   
Asahi takes a deep breath once again. 

“I care about you very much. I’m sure Tsukishima does, too. We all do. Exhale and release the tension.”, Asahi continues to instruct. Yamaguchi pulls his legs close to his body and does he is told. “There are people who want to help you. They would be so glad if you reached out to them. Your teachers, Ukai, your mom, Tsukishima, the whole team. There are solutions to every problem. Notice how that thought feels in your body.”  
Asahi goes on and on, nearly smothering Yamaguchi in reassuring, loving and soothing words. This feels so intimate, that both Tsukishimas and Yamaguchis cheeks turn red. It’s not all that usual to talk like that to each other. But it really seems to help and soon Yamaguchi cries again, but everyone knows its because he feels relieved. 

Relieved of his tension, of his worries and stress, even if it’s just for a few minutes. He slowly comes back to reality, his mind getting clearer.   
So they sit in silence, until Asahi states that it’s only a few minutes until lunch break is over. 

Slowly, they get up and Yamaguchi hugs the third year because he doesn’t know how to properly say thank you for this. He is still overwhelmed, but he is okay with this. He feels like he can finally tackle his problems, one by one.


End file.
